


Trust in me

by littlemissstark315



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Anal Sex, Don’t put your dick in crazy, During the chorus seasons, Emotional Manipulation, Felix being Felix, Fingering, Grinding, Heavy Petting, M/M, Sex, not sure yet - Freeform, possibly some BDSM stuff, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-05-13 06:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19245376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissstark315/pseuds/littlemissstark315
Summary: Felix found the best plan; get laid and lower the reds and blues defenses which comes in the form of one guilt ridden Lavernius Tucker.





	1. Chapter 1

  
It was so easy to see through Tucker. Felix kept a close eye on all of them but Tucker was definitely different than the rest of his friends; he was the only one who could really fight and fight well, for starters.

Which made him a threat to his mission. He was someone who may see through his manipulation and fight.

Not that his plan is hard. They’re all a bunch of morons in charge of an army, his job is not difficult by any means.

And without Tucker’s freelancer buddy Wash around,this was too easy. He wasn’t around the reds and blues long but he knew love eyes when he saw it and that’s all Tucker seemed to throw Washs way, even if he denied it or started fights with him, it was equivalent to a boy pulling the girls pig tails to get her attention.

So when he found Tucker after hours in the living area (What was a living area, it had a shitty TV with three channels and a couch older than the planet) with a bottle of whiskey, he knew his plan just became even more easy. Which means he can have a little fun before he betrays them.

He walked in, no armor, just a tank top and pajama shorts and gave a calculated concerned look. “Tuck, you ok buddy? Lights out was an hour ago.” Tucker leaned back against the couch, the whiskey bottle on the table, close to half drank. Tucker shrugged. “Just fucking fine.”

Felix moved in, sitting next to him, putting the cap on the whiskey bottle. “You’re drinking alone, obviously you’re not fine.” Tucker snorted and Felix persisted. “Look, I know you’re worried about your friends. I know but Wash made a sacrifice and he wouldn’t want you to drown your guilt in a bottle. There’s still time to help them.”

Tucker stayed quiet but Felix saw his dark eyes get watery before he spoke. “I keep thinking what they might be doing to them. If he’s being tortured, if he’s even alive.” Felix let his fingers gently touch Tucker’s hand that was at his side. Tucker took the bait, his hand wrapping around his tightly.

Felix gave him a soft look. “We’ll get them back. I promise.” Tucker went for the bottle again, wanting to drown these emotions out, hand coming away from Felix as Felix stopped him, holding his arm. “Stop. Too much and you’ll have a hangover and we need you to fight.” Tucker sucked in a breath, hands going through his dreads. “I jut want to forget.”

Felix took his chance, hand resting on Tucker thigh and inching close to his groin. “I can help you forget.” Tucker looked at him, surprised. “I’m not gay..” He said, not quite believing the words, a little hesitant.

“oh please..I’m not taking about a serious relationship, I’m taking about some fucking to forget the pain. Just a good time. And I’m not stupid, I’ve seen the heart eyes you always send Washs way.” Tucker felt himself blush, glad his skin was dark enough to hide it. “What? I don’t..I.” He became flustered and Felix grinned, this was too easy. “You are a horrible liar Lavernius Tucker. Now, how about we have some real fun?” He said, feeling his finger brush up against Tucker half-mast member in his pajama pants. Oh he was interested.

He took it one step bolder and gracefully swung his leg around Tucker and plopped himself into his lap, Tucker’s hands already going to his hips, what hips he had; downside of being the thin one. Tucker looked confused but also wasn’t fighting it, deciding to go with it, it was healthier than drinking himself stupid anyway.

Tucker gave a little smirk, staring up at him. “Alright then, I’m down for this.” Felix grinned as he leaned into Tucker’s neck, grinding his hips down. “Good.” He bit Tucker’s neck, suckling it as he ground his hard cock into Tucker, feeling his own excitement. Tucker let out a breathy moan. “Fuck That feels good..” Felix panted, moaning as he continued to ride and grind his cock into the other before Tucker stopped them, hastily pulling their pants down enough to free themselves.

Felix let out a chuckle. “You got good ideas.” He said before bringing a hand down between them to wrap around Tucker, stroking him, feeling him tremble and gasp before he managed to hold both their cocks together, both starting to thrust with a steady pace.

Tucker moaned before stopping him. “Someone could come in..” “Your point?” Felix said, panting and biting Tucker’s neck as he continued to ride. Tucker hissed out a breathy moan. “Fuck..that’s good..” the idea of getting caught seems impossibly hot.

Felix was biting and sucking his neck as he thrust into his hand, both cocks rubbing together as he painted and whimpered. “Fuck Tucker…I’m close..” Tucker panted, hands going around and gripping his ass tightly. “Maybe next time I get to ride this ass..pound it to next week.” Felix groaned, coming in white spurts on Tucker shirt.

Tucker didn’t seem to care as he followed, coming with a low moan before both were left panting, Felix smirked as he stood, moving his pants and covering himself before leaning in. “Want more of that then just come find me.” He finished with a tender kiss, deepening it. By the time Tucker’s brain caught up and started kissing back Felix was waking away with a smirk and lustful look.

Tucker was panting and catching his breath, feeling come drying on him. He breathed out. “Fuck…”

He cleaned up and put himself away and felt guilt, even heavier than before. Wash and the others could be tortured and dying right now and he’s fooling around and getting his dick wet.

He took the bottle back to bunk with him and fell asleep in a drunken stupor.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Tucker’s mind was filled with was a toxic mixture of working harder than he ever has to prepare to rescue his friends and the struggle not go to Felix for more sexual healing because damn, that was probably the best sexual experience he’s had.

Honestly, he doesn’t have a lot. His first time was with a girl who he wasn’t even dating and it was a bit of mess. Luckily she didn’t mind lying and saying it was amazing when a friend asked them how it was.

But the lies kept coming and he eventually was the one that got the reputation as a womanizer, even if he’s only ever slept with two (Kai included, even through that ended up as a mess too) and he kept that rep and didn’t mind it but when it came to actual sex he’d get cold feet and couldn’t get it up or would find an excuse to not let it happen.

But Felix on his lap, fucking grinding their cocks together like it was the only thing that mattered, he got hard just thinking back to last night, hangover be damned.

“Thought I’d find you here.” He stopped punching the punching bag, hearing Felix’s voice and hearing him walk up behind him. He turned, seeing that familiar smug look and chestnut curls. If he didn’t know any better he’d say he looked innocent but Tucker did know better and knew Felix always had a plan.

Tucker gave a huff. “Have to start training sometime.” Felix grinned as he came closer, trailing his finger across strong shoulders exposed by his tank top. “Did our time help clear your head?” Tucker gave a small smirk. “It certainly didn’t hurt things.”

Felix came around, facing him with a coy look. “Glad to hear it. I talked to Kimball-“ He said, suddenly getting serious, hand coming away from his shoulder. “And she’ll let you go on this rescues mission, on one condition.” Tucker was all ears. “What is it? I’ll do literally anything.”

“You have to manage to take me down in battle.” Tucker scoffed. “That’s all?” Felix grinned, Tucker’s overconfidence would be his downfall. “That’s all. I’m sure you won’t have a problem taking little old me down, now will you?” He said with a smirk, giving Tucker bedroom eyes, knowing how to exploit his weakness.

Tucker grinned, hand coming and dragging Felix over by his waistband. “I can take you down in other ways.” Felix gave a nod and a smirk. “Then what are you waiting for?” He said as he grabbed a bottle of lube from his pocket, showing it to Tucker. Tucker gave a small laugh. “You’ve planned this whole thing thing haven’t you?” “Oh you have no idea. Now, why don’t you do like you promised last night-“ He moved in, kissing Tucker deeply before pulling away. “And pound my ass.”

Tucker groaned. “Fuck yes.” Felix grinned against his mouth; so much for not gay or the very least very bi. Doesn’t matter to Felix one way or the other, he gets laid and exploits a weakness in the reds and blues. A win-win for him honestly.

He opened his mouth and wrestled with Tuckers tongue in his own, wrapping his arms around him, rubbing his dreads and shoulders. Tucker’s hands brought Felix’s hips closer, grinding against him before pulling his mouth away, both panting. Tucker spoke first. “We can’t here, my place?”

Felix groaned, Tucker’s hands making him putty. “Too far, I’d rather not have to walk a mile with a hard-on.” And his bunk is too dangerous to his plans. Not quite trustful Tucker won’t go looking for shit. Tucker sighed. “Then where?” “Showers? We can even lock the door to them.” Tucker kissed him deeply. “Perfect. Fuck, let’s go.”

Felix led the way and was glad to find it blissfully empty as Tucker turned and closed the locker room doors, locking them before Tucker took his shirt off and quickly got Felix’s shirt off too with a speed even Felix was a bit impressed as Tucker started suckling and kissing at his throat. Felix biting his lip as electric went down his spine.

Fuck was it nice to let someone take control.

He let Tucker strip them of the rest of their clothing and let him back him into the cold tile, seeing the bottle of lube in Tucker’s hand; must have gotten it while they were stripping.

Tucker felt that twinge of guilt, the cold feet. Thinking of Wash and them captured. Felix must have noticed his new hesitation and let out a breath, moving his hands to Tucker’s face delicately. “Hey, Im here to stop you thinking, so stop thinking. Maybe it’ll help if I put on a show?”

Tucker looked at him oddly. “A show?” Felix just took the lube out of his hands and kneeled down a small distance away, Tucker watching with his heart feeling like it might beat out of his chest.

Felix smirked at him as he lubed two fingers up and went around and inserted them with a gasp. Tucker bit his lip, moving around to watch. Felix panted with a grin. “Like the show already? It’s barely started.” Tucker stayed quiet, watching as Felix fucked himself on his fingers before adding a third, moaning softly as he hit his prostate each time.

Tucker was starting to soften before but now he was rock hard again, watching Felix’s hole stretch around his fingers. Tucker went to him, taking his fingers away before adding his own, thrusting them a little harder, making Felix gasp. “Ready for me?” Felix moaned, getting himself into position, ass in the air and elbows on the floor. “Yes..fuck me hard as you can..”

Tucker bit his lip as he saw the position Felix was in. He lubed his cock up and thrust in with no warning or slowly to get him used to it. That seems to be what Felix is about, at lest what Tucker can piece together about him. Felix cried out, gasping and moaning. “Ahh! Yes..” Tucker did was he was told and didn’t think and fucked him, hard.

Both men panting and groaning, Tucker knowing his knees are going to be hurting, this was a bad idea to fuck on the hard tile of the shower but fuck, right now it felt too good stop.

Felix came faster than Tucker thought he would. Moaning and gripping what he could of the tile. Tucker continued, Felix bordering on overstimulation, crying out and moaning, panting as he felt Tucker come inside him before pulling out and laying down next to him to catch his breath.

Tucker isn’t sure if this counts as his first time having sex or not and that makes more guilt churn in his mind. He rolled over and hold his partner when Felix moved, giving him a look. “What are you doing?” Tucker shrugged. “Sorry, I was trying to snuggle I guess.” “We’ll save it for an actual relationship. We’re fuck buddies and nothing else.” “Right.” Tucker said, the words feeling empty as he said them, hating the hurt he felt from the comment even though he knew this going in.

Felix smirked. “Hey, save those cuddles for someone you care about. Right now, you have to try to take me out.” Felix said as he stood, starting to walk away.

Tucker stood, grinning weakly. “What? No fuck buddy discount?” Felix already had his pants on as he walked over. “Normally you definitely would get a pass for that amazing sex but seeing that your friends are in danger and letting you go with no training would be suicidal on everyone’s part.” Tucker nodded, the atmosphere suddenly more somber. “Right. Guess I’ll see you when I take you down.” Felix grinned as he got his shirt in. “If you think you can.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

  
For a week Tucker trained and lead his troop to take down Felix. And each time they were met with Felix getting the better hand. It was infuriating and embarrassing.

But finally one day came and Tucker managed to get him from behind, drag him to the ground, hands behind his back with a triumphant grin. “Fuck yeah!” Felix cursed in his helmet but was smiling. His plan is too easy; and locus said it was too risky.

“Fucking hell Tucker, let me up.” He said irritated. Tucker let him up and took off his helmet with a grin. “Now we are going to tell Kimball that I can put together a damn rescue mission.” Felix gave a nod, glad for his helmet, he can’t stop smiling. “I’m a man of my word, you did it. Let’s go see her.”

The plan was coming together perfectly. After Tucker got the all-clear from Kimball Felix went to his room and called Locus in his helmet.

His deep voice came over the line. “Yes Felix?” Felix grinned as he talked, pacing. “I just called to tell you the plan is going perfect. Tucker got the all-clear from Kimball to make a rescue team, it’s almost too easy.”   
“And what happens if he actually succeeds?”   
“That’s what you’re there for, think of yourself as insurance.”  
“Is that all Felix?”   
“That is all Locus, Christ work on your conversation skills.” He was met with Locus hanging up. He shrugged with a sigh and started taking his armor off when there was a knock on his door.

He opened it and grinned when he saw Tucker. “Tucker, come by for celebration sex?” “Maybe but I came to see if you’d be on the rescue mission with us. I know we could save them with your skill on our side.” Felix rolled his eyes. “Ok, first off, if you’ve forgotten, I’m a mercenary, not a soldier. It’s not my job to go on these little missions with you guys. Plus what’s the point of you training if you decide to use me?”

Tucker frowned. “So you’re not going to help? Seriously?” “No Tucker, I won’t. This is all you. Wash would be proud.” He said, a little softly, putting emotion into the words.

Tucker sighed. “Alright, you made your point. Maybe we can hook up later after I’m done in the war room.” “Sure thing, after lights out?” “Definitely, my place.” Tucker said as he jogged off.

Tucker wouldn’t be going out on his mission until tomorrow so that gave them plenty of alone time. Felix knocked on Tucker’s bunk door and it opened quickly, with just his tank top and boxers on. “Why hello hot stuff.” Felix rolled his eyes and pretended he didn’t find it endearing. “Shut up Romeo and let me in.” Tucker moved and let him inside.

Felix grinned as Tucker closed the door. “So? Any plans on how tonight should go?” Tucker huffed with a smile as he moved closer. “Sex, duh.” Felix gave him a look. “Other than sex, which, obviously is going to happen. I meant did you have any ideas for our fucking?” “Not really, just want to have some fun before I save everyone tomorrow.” “Big hero now, should I get my knees and worship you?” Felix said with a smirk, trailing his finger down Tucker’s chest.

Tucker smirked back, already hard as diamond. “It’s a good start.” Felix grinned as he leaned in, suckling Tucker’s neck before kneeling down and taking Tucker’s boxers with him, letting Tucker’s cock free from it’s confines.

Felix brought a hand to him, stroking. He felt a shiver of satisfaction go down his spine as Tucker inhaled and moaned softly. “Fuck, that feels good.” Felix grinned as he brought his mouth around him, taking him nearly to the hilt and back up again.

Tucker gasped, hands gripping Felix’s curls harshly. “Fuck yeah…” Felix kept going, tasting precome on his tongue; tangy and bitter before Tucker pulled him away, kissing him harshly. “I’m not gonna last long, need to fuck you nice and hard.” Felix groaned and had a better plan. “I have an idea and feel free to say no but how about I fuck you?”

Tucker looked at him oddly. “You mean I would be bottom. Taking dick.” “Yep.” Tucker looked unsure. “I don’t know. I’ve never even thought of that before. Does it hurt a lot?” Felix kissed him tenderly. “A little but with the right prep and guidance it can be very, very good. And trust me, I intend to make it good.” Tucker thought it over a few seconds, Felix nipping his neck as he thought. “Sure. I’m game, what do I need to do?”

Felix grinned as he pulled away enough to see him properly. “First thing is to take off that shirt and lay on the bed on your back. I’ll get the lube.”

Tucker did as he was told, feeling a mixture of anxiety and excitement rush through him, making him throb. Felix came back, undressing himself as he sat next to Tucker. Felix smirked softly as he kissed his face. “No need to be nervous. I’m gonna take good care of you.” Tucker smiled, meeting his lips with his own. “I’m sure you will.” “I have to prepare you or else it will hurt, it might feel strange at first but trust me, it’ll feel amazing.”

Felix lubed up his index finger before gently spreading Tucker’s legs and gently inserting his finger. Tucker winced. “Fuck, that does feel weird. This how it felt to you?” Felix focused on gently thrusting his finger in and out. “A bit but you get used to it. But after it feels weird it feels amazing, the only reason it’s not me you’re fucking is because I want you to feel this tomorrow when you go on your mission.”

Felix added a second finger, thrusting them in and out at a steady pace, looking for his prostate but even without that Tucker seemed to be enjoying it as he moaned softly. “Ok…I can see why you like this..” Tucker’s eyes got wide as he gasped, gripping the bedsheets. “Holy fuck!” Felix grinned, pressing his finger on his prostrate again and again. “Like that?”

Felix added a third finger and kept his pace,watching Tucker come undone as he started to fuck himself on his fingers. Felix gave a little nip at his thigh with a grin. “I think you’re ready.”

Felix took his fingers away and started to lube his cock, bringing Tucker’s legs around his waist, the head just barely breaching. Tucker looked nervous but excited. Felix grinned. “Ready?” “Hell Yeah.” Felix pressed in slowly, as much as he’d rather fuck him senseless, he didn’t feel like hurting him, that would just make things more complicated.

Tucker gasped at the feeling. “Jesus..” “Hurt?” Felix asked, barely moving. “A little but nothing I can’t get past. But now that I’m here, I’m very sorry for just thrusting into you in the shower.” Felix rolled his eyes and kept moving. “You are such a sap.”

Eventually he bottomed out, his arms braced on either side of Tucker’s face as they panted. Felix kissed his neck. “Ready?” Tucker panted, nodding, arms coming around him. “Yeah.”

Felix moved his hips, starting at a slow pace; in and out. Tucker was already panting and moaning, his arms coming to wrap tighter around Felix as he hit his prostate each time. “Oh fuck…that’s good..”

Felix groaned into his neck, picking up speed, feeling already close. “I forgot how good it feels to properly fuck someone. Fuck..so tight..” they both panted and moaned. Tucker coming first, leaving nail marks on Felix’s shoulders as he gasped and whined through it. Felix came soon after, coming deep inside him as he rode it out.

Once they were both finished Felix pulled out, laying next to Tucker, catching his breath. Tucker was panting, looking blissed out. “Fuck..that was amazing.” Felix grinned. “Knew you’d like it.” Tucker turned to cuddle and Felix tensed. “What did I say about snuggling?” Tucker frowned, pulling away. “Sorry. Didn’t realize I was that much of a cuddler.” “It’s ok.” Felix sat up, getting off the bed and dressed. Tucker smirked, sitting up on his elbows. “Leaving so soon?”

Felix sighed. “Yes. Places to be, things to do, you know.” Tucker just gave a nod. He was planning on sleeping anyway. “Alright. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow when I get back.” Felix smirked his way as he got to the door. “Guess I will.” He said before leaving.

He got to his bunk and contacted Locus. Locus picked up, sounding irritated. “What?”  
“Tucker and his unit will be moving out tomorrow morning. Do me a favor and rough up the prisoners, especially Wash. Tucker is going to flip his shit if he sees his precious freelancer roughed up.”  
“Understood. Is that all?”  
“That’s all. Have fun with target practice tomorrow.” Locus hung up and Felix let out a breath, this plan was coming together perfectly.

 


	4. Chapter 4

  
Felix managed to see Tucker off, wanting to make sure Tucker don’t come back screaming at him when it went wrong and to instill overconfidence. Felix found him easily, his armor half on in his bunk. Felix gave a smile. “Hey, how you feeling after last night?” Tucker smiled. “Pretty damn good and sore in all the right places.” Felix walked closer, arms wrapping around his shoulders and nibbling on his ear. “Come back safe and I promise a good time hero.” Tucker grinned, turning his head and kissing him back, deep before pulling away. “You know it.”

Tucker left with his team and Felix waved as if he were a war widow in a story. Once they were gone he sighed, ready to go take a damn nap. This double life stuff could get exhausting, especially since he got up crack ass early to see Tucker off.

Felix isn’t sure when he woke up but he woke up starving. He decided to visit the mess hall when he felt the somber atmosphere, trying not to smile with glee that the plan worked.

He saw Jensen crying into Andersmiths arms. He walked over, frowning. “What happened?” Jensen spoke, voice thick as she cried big tears down her face. “The mission failed. We lost Palomo.” “Oh..I’m sorry. This is my fault, if i had managed to fight better maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. I sent you guys in unprepared.” He put as much emotion into his voice as he could.

Andersmith looked at him. “This could have happened even if we were prepared better, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.” Felix just nodded. “Where’s Tucker? I don’t see him. Is he in his bunk?”

Jensen sucked in a breath. “He’s hurt. He got hurt really bad trying to save Wash, he’s in the medbay right now.” Felix took in a steadying breath. “Ok. Thank you.” He said as he jogged off to medbay.

Once at medbay he found Tucker with a bandaged shoulder and watery eyes as she stared at nothing.

Felix walked in carefully. “Heard it didn’t go well.” Tucker didn’t even look at him. Felix sat on his bed. “I’m sorry, Jensen said we lost Palomo.” “And Wash.” “What?” Felix asked, in genuine confusion, he asked Locus to rough him up but if he actually killed him then color him impressed. Tucker pointed to a far away chair and Felix saw Washs grey and yellow helmet, blood stained.

Tucker sucked in a shaking breath, staring at the helmet. “He’s dead. He’s dead because I didn’t train hard enough. I wasn’t strong enough or smart enough and now he’s dead.” He said, voice cracking as tears fell down his face. Felix just held his good hand. “I’m sorry. “

Felix moved enough to get his arm around Tucker. Tucker sniffled. “I thought you said no snuggling.” “Well two of your men just died; I think I can make an exception.” Tucker’s lip trembled and he bit it, not wanting to completely break down. “You know it’s ok to cry. I know you cared a lot about them.”

Tucker’s breath hitched. “I’ll never see them again. I’ll never get to tell Palomo off or tell Wash how I felt. I never get to talk to them or see Washs smile again.” His speech ended in him sobbing, hiccuping cries as Felix wrapped his arms around him, letting him cry it out.

Once Tucker fell asleep Felix snuck out and went to his room to contact Locus.

“What is it?” Locus asked.   
Felix paced as he talked. “So apparently Wash is dead along with another.”  
“That’s is only half true. The one that goes by Palomo is dead and Wash is not. Tucker and his team were close to having an upper hand and I improvised. I tortured Agent Washington lightly last night before showing him off to Tucker. Nothing that would cause permanent damage. You were right, he tried to charge and I shot him before I dragged Agent Washington away, silenced him and shot his leg so Tucker could get the implication he is dead. I added in the blood stained helmet as proof.”

Felix almost cackled. “Ah Locus you genius! Too bad you didn’t kill him though, he could be a damper to our plans.”  
“This is true but I can’t risk blowing cover. We need them alive.”   
“Understood. I’m going to go back to playing the concerned lover.”

He hung up and let out a breath. This plan was too easy. Soon this entire army is going to fall apart because of two lost soldiers.

He went back to Tucker’s room, seeing him asleep. He decided he would clean Washs helmet of the blood. He picked it up and Tucker spoke suddenly. “What are you doing with that?” “I was just going to clean it.” “Don’t. I want it as is.” Felix frowned. “Tucker..” He placed the helmet down and walked over to him. “I know it’s hard that Wash is gone and I’m all for you keeping his helmet but you can’t keep it blood stained. It could grow mold or something.” Tucker shook his head. “I don’t care.” Felix sighed. “Alright. I won’t touch it.” Felix walked over to him, concern on his face. “What exactly happened?”

Tucker glared at his blanket, angry tears in his eyes. “That bastard shot him like a fucking dog. He hurt him too, God, while we were fucking around Wash was being tortured.” He sucked in a shaking breath. Felix gently held his hand. “What about the others? The red and pink one?” “I don’t know. I didn’t see them. I thought I heard Sarge yelling but there was so much going on, so much blood.” Tucker held Felix’s hand tightly, Felix let him cry.

Meanwhile Carolina got word of what happened while she was out on her search. Church appearing before her. “Get Carolina I think the guys have a problem.” Carolina gave him a soft glare. “I don’t have time to babysit.” “I got word Wash is dead.” Carolina stopped what she was doing, staring at Church. He continued. “We should at least go see the guys, even if it’s just to pay respects.” Carolina swallowed her tears down. “Let’s go.”


	5. Chapter 5

  
Felix was surprised when he saw Carolina coming through the base. She came up to him. “Where’s Kimball?” “In her office.” “Thanks.” She said quickly before walking off.   
He cursed to himself as he went to his own bunk, calling Locus.

“Yes Felix?”  
“So Carolina is on base and asking where Kimball is. I think we have a problem.”   
“Can you take care of this problem?”  
“Without blowing cover? No.”  
“I’ll move the prisoners, keep them confused.”   
“Sounds good. I’ll do what I can here.”

Carolina charged into Kimballs office.”What the hell happened?” Kimball turned. “Oh, Carolina, I Guess you heard that Wash and Palomo are gone.” “Yes and I want to know why.” Kimball sighed. “Just a mission gone wrong. If you want to know what happened I suggest talking to Tucker since he was the one that lead the rescue mission.”

Carolina huffed out and went to fund Tucker. He was able to go to his bunk but he didn’t care. He drank what alcohol they had and stared at Washs helmet on his dresser.

There was a knock on the door and he got up, opening it with his good arm. He was surprised to see Carolina. “Oh..hey.” “I want to know what happened. Is Wash really dead?” Tucker’s eyes welled with tears as he let her in. “Yeah. He’s gone. Along with Palomo. It was a fucking mess.” Carolina took in a steady breath. “Did you see him die? Is there proof he’s dead?”

Church popped out. “Carolina, calm down. This situation sucks but you can’t just barge in and ask for proof. I know it’s hard but Wash is gone.” Carolina felt her eyes well up. Tucker spoke up. “Felix gave me his helmet.” “Let me see.”

Tucker moved and Carolina walked in as the helmet was handed to her carefully. She took it with shaking hands, staring at it. It was covered in blood but it doesn’t look like a blood splatter. “How did you say he died?” “Shot. Locus made a show of it.” “Did you see him die?”

Tucker looked at her oddly. “Yes?” She turned quickly. “You don’t know? Did you see his body when he died?” Tucker huffed. “Locus brought him out to show off his torture before hauling him away to shoot him like a dog. I heard the gun shot, I saw blood. That was more than enough proof.” He wiped his eyes quickly.

Carolina was nearly smiling in her helmet. “Wash may not be dead.” Tucker raised an eyebrow. “Say what?” “The blood on here, it’s not splattered like a gun shot would would, it smeared, like someone put it on. I think Wash is alive and I think we’re being lied to.” Tucker swallowed, he didn’t want this kind of hope. “How do we figure it out?”

“If you let me I can study the helmet a bit more, find finger prints, if any. Maybe we can rescue them.” Tucker sighed. “Go ahead.” Carolina gave a nod. “Thank you . I promise, I won’t let anything happen to it.” Tucker just nodded, hating he felt hope he may see Wash again. She took it and he sighed shakily as he sat on his bed.

Felix came in, seeing Tucker’s door was open. “Was That Carolina taking Washs helmet?” Tucker huffed, wiping tears away with his good arm. “Yeah. She thinks he might still be alive but…I don’t want to think that.” Felix inwardly sighed, it wasn’t his thing to do emotions but to keep his cover he’ll try. “Why’s that?” He asked, sitting on the bed next to Tucker.

Tucker swallowed. “Because if he’s still alive then that means they’re still torturing him and I can’t exactly lead another rescue mission. I’ve already fucked up enough, I don’t need to get Wash killed for real.” “But at least there’s hope we can get him back.” Tucker stayed quiet.

Carolina watched as Church scanned the helmet. She paced. “So? Anything?” “I think you’re right. This isn’t splattered, it’s been smeared on, there’s…not finger prints but finger streaks. This was definitely a decoy, Wash is probably alive, hurt but alive.” Carolina smiled, relived. “That means we can get him back. We have to talk to Kimball, see where this happened.”

After Carolina talked to Kimball she went back to Tucker’s bunk, seeing Felix there. “You boys up for a rescue mission?” Tucker huffed. “My arm isn’t exactly in its best shape.” “I don’t need you for combat, I need you for Wash. If they wanted you to think he’s dead then that means he’s very likely still alive and hurt and he’s going to need help and comfort.” Tucker thought about it a few seconds. “Alright. I’m in.” Felix spoke up quickly, he had to go with them to figure out how to keep his plan intact. “I’ll go too.”

Tucker looked at him weird. “I thought you didn’t care about rescue missions.” Felix shrugged with a smile. “Call me a bleeding heart but we’ve already lost one man, we could lose Wash too and we can’t let that happen.” Tucker gave a weak smile. “Yeah. Thanks.”   
Carolina fave them a nod. “Then suit up, now. We’re leaving.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short and I don’t know how to buff it up so here ya go

  
Tucker was in his bunk, trying to figure out what to say to Wash when he rescued him, if he’s even still alive, when there was a knock on his bunk door.

He got up and answered, perking up slightly seeing Felix. “Oh. Hey-“ suddenly Felix crashed his lips to his, arms wrapping around him, being careful of his injured shoulder. When he pulled away Tucker looked surprised. “What?” Felix let out a breath. “Well anything could happen tomorrow, how about another hook up in case we both die?”

Tucker’s eyebrow rose at that. “That’s very romantic of you.” Felix smiled, kissing him. “Well we could die, that changes a persons perspective.” He said a little softer. Tucker let out a breath. “Got a point. But you’re gonna have to do the work, my shoulder barely works. I can’t even wear my armor tomorrow because of it.” “No problem.” Felix said as he crashed his lips again, gently pushing Tucker back inside his bunk.

Once inside he helped Tucker out of his clothing, being gentle of his shoulder in a gentleness Tucker had never seen in the mercenary. Once he was nude Felix stripped quickly while giving Tucker an order with a smile. “Lay on the bed, I’ll do the rest.”

Tucker followed and laid down carefully and watched Felix strip, Felix bending over in a show of taking his shoes off, showing the flared end of the butt plug.

Tucker was definitely hard at the sight. “Fuck, you’re already prepared..” Felix grinned as he came over to the bed, bottle of lube in hand as he put some on his hand and stroked Tucker’s cock. Tucker melted, gripping the sheets. “Damn..”

Felix put the bottle on the floor before straddling Tucker, the head of his cock just barely breaching him. Tucker bit his lip, watching, still able to see his cock positioned perfectly at Felix’s perk ass.

Then he started sliding down and gasped at the feeling. Tucker groaned. “Oh fuck…” Felix was panting as he slid down inch by inch until Tucker was completely inside him.

Felix stared him in the eye and started moving and Tucker felt it was suddenly intimate. Felix moaned softly as he rode Tucker up and down and Tucker groaning. Felix angled just right and cried out, riding him harder. “Yes! Fuck!” Tucker moaned, bringing his hands to his hips, not caring of the pain in his shoulder, he just needed to touch him, feel him, skin to skin.

Felix came first, in spurts on Tucker’s dark chest, Tucker following, panting out soft moans until they were both spent, panting and blissed out.

Felix got off him and got a shirt from the floor, cleaning Tucker up before laying next to him. Tucker turned to snuggle him when he stopped himself. Felix let out a breath bringing him in to hold. “Just this once.” Tucker blinked like an idiot before holding him close and feeling sleep starting to overcome him. “Felix? Was there a reason for this? This is a lot more emotions than normal.”

Felix spoke softly. “Maybe I just don’t want you to die.” Tucker just looked at him. “Did you want to make this serious?” Felix looked at him softly. “Maybe, after tomorrow, after we survive. Would you want that?” Tucker smiled, feeling happier than he has in the last twenty four hours. “Yeah! Definitely!” Felix gave a chuckle. “We’ll talk about it after we survive tomorrow.”

Once Tucker fell sleep Felix quietly got out of bed, dressed and went to his own room to contact Locus.

“Yes Felix?”   
Felix grinned. “Just wanted to let you know that the trap is set. I have Tucker eating out of the palm of my hand and let them know the location I somehow managed to get to them. Is everything ready on your side?”   
“Ready and waiting.”   
Felix grinned. “Alright. See you tomorrow Locus.”  
Felix hung up and sighed, laying on his bed. It was always a good feeling when a plan came together, even better when that plan involved getting laid.


	7. Chapter 7

  
Tucker hated this. Hated the whole situation knowing he was at fault for it. Knowing Wash may be dead right now because of him. Because of his shoulder (and unable to perform in combat because of said shoulder) and that if they get Wash back alive, he’ll be hurt and needing help and comfort and power armor will not do that along with a small medic bag put together hastily before they left, Carolina having put it together leaving Tucker their medic.

He was wearing old UNSC fatigues with layers of clothing underneath since the prison was north and was cold and snowy and only about ten degrees.

Felix grumbled in the car ride. “I hate this, it’s freezing.” Tucker grinned over to him. “I know how to keep your warm.” Felix glared at him but forgot he was wearing his armor and helmet so Tucker couldn’t see. “Shut up.”

When Carolina parked she got out quickly, pistol in hand. There was no one around and it was eerily quiet. “It’s too quiet. I don’t like this.” Felix pretended to look around before spotting the entrance he already knew. “I think I found the entrance.” Carolina and Tucker jogged over, Carolina leading. “Alright, let’s go. Be ready for anything. Our priorities are getting Wash, Sarge and Donut out.” “Got it.” Felix and Tucker replied as they walked inside.

As they walked further inside Carolina got a call, from Simmons of all people. “Carolina! We have a problem! We’re being attacked and Kimball isn’t waking up-“ “Wait, slow down, what is going on?” “We’re being attacked and we went to Kimball and she’s not waking up.” Carolina swallowed. This was bad. “Can you hold them until we get back?” “We can try.” “Do it.”

Tucker knew it was bad from Just Carolinas stance. “What’s going on?” Carolina looked over at him. “Kimball might be dead. I don’t know, Simmons said she isn’t responding and the base is under attack.” Tucker cursed. “Fuck. Then this is a fucking trap, for both bases.” “Let’s just keep walking. Trap or not our friends are still in here.”

As they walked further in, the entrance went on lockdown, trapping them. Tucker cursed, again. This plan was going to shit and it barely started. “Fucking hell.”

Suddenly something was thrown at them, a grenade. Felix got it quickly and threw it back. “Behind me!” He got his light shield as Tucker was the first behind him, Carolina behind Tucker as it blew up, bringing rubble of the base entrance with it.

But when the smoke cleared Locus was in front of them. “Don’t you think this cover has gone on enough Felix?” Felix smirked in his helmet; fucking showtime.

“You know what?” He lowered his shield and turned toward Tucker and Carolina. “You’re right.” Felix said, walking toward Locus. Tucker was shocked. “Felix? What are you doing?”

Felix grinned in his helmet. “Oh Com’on Tucker,you’re smart enough to realize what this is.” Tucker frowned, denying what he knows is true. “But what about us? We were-“ “You are too easy. All it took was getting into your pants to have you eating out of my hand, trusting my every word. It almost makes me feel guilty using you but I had a job to do and I did it amazingly.” Tucker blinked away tears, staring at the ground. “And Wash? Is he really dead?”

Felix sighed. “Unfortunately no. You see we realized that he’s still a fugitive of project freelancer and since we have him it would be a nice thing to hand him over to rot in a prison cell the rest of his life. And the others? Well? They’re fugitives as well for harboring him. They’re gonna be seeing the inside of a prison cell for a long time.”

Carolina was livid. “You son of a bitch. You killed Kimball, you attacked our base while it was undefended.” Felix scoffed. “I didn’t kill her, just drugged her. She’ll be fine when she wakes up. Probably.”

Carolina went to attack, but Wash suddenly being thrown to the ground by Locus from one of his other men stopped her. Tucker went to run for him, to help but Locus had his gun pointed at his head. “Attack us and he dies.”

Tucker swallowed, seeing Wash this hurt made everything in him go haywire. Washs eyes were so black and blue they were swollen shut, along with the biggest fat lip his seen, nose bleeding , in nothing but a tee shirt and boxers in the single digit weather. He wonders if Wash even knows what’s going on, he probably has a good concussion.

Felix grinned. “Yeah. Sorry to break you’re little rescue mission bubble but you’re not making it out of here.” Carolina nearly growled. “Says you.” Locus spoke next. “Do you really want to test your speed against your friends life?”

Carolina was silent as Locus kept his gun aimed at Washs head. “I didn’t think so.” Locus roughly picked Wash up by one arm, making him cry out in pain as he started walking away with him, very nearly dragging him, giving Tucker and Carolina a good look at the wound on his leg.

Felix suddenly sounded very serious. “Follow us and your freelancer dies. Maybe the others too. And trust me, we won’t hesitate to put a bullet through his blonde little head.” Tucker glared at him with watery eyes, staying silent, trying to figure out a plan.

Carolina spoke hushed to church. “Church, let me know when Locus is out of sight and earshot.” “Got it.” It wasn’t long until she had her chance. “He’s gone.” Carolina didn’t wanted any time as she managed to grab Felix, walking slower than Locus to keep an eye on them before he turned his back and she was on him like an angry cat.

He barely could fight back against the surprise attack and before he could scream or yell or contact Locus she snapped his neck, letting him lay limp on the ground. Carolina turned to Tucker. “We’re getting them back. Follow my lead.” Tucker just nodded, following along, feeling numb to everything but as they started to move there was an explosion and snow and ice falling on them.

All Tucker saw was white.


	8. Chapter 8

  
Before they could be buried by rubble church managed to deploy the bubble shield but still left them trapped, even if they’re not buried. Tucker just looked around, seeing the fallen ice and bricks around them, nearly engulfing the shield. “Fuck, they’re gonna be gone by the time we get Locus. If he hasn’t killed Wash, he has to know Felix is dead.”

“ But he wants him alive for the reward he’ll get for bringing him in, with Felix gone that means he gets all the money. We just need to find how they’re leaving, track it and get out of this mess.” Carolina said, surprisingly calm where Tucker wasn’t.

He paced, running his good hand through his dreads. “This is all my fucking fault. I shouldn’t of let Felix use me like that, it got Palomo killed, possibly everyone else I know-“ “Hey!” She said sharply, suddenly in Tucker’s face. “We all got played by Felix. I’m sorry he manipulated your emotions but you weren’t the only one being used. Kimball trusted him, the base trusted him, I trusted him. I know you feel guilty but right now we need to get out of here and save them.” Tucker nodded. “Alright. Lead the way.”

Carolina nodded, turning to church. “How you doing?” “I’m ok, not sure I can hold shield too much longer.” “Have enough power for my speed? It should be enough to clear a path.” “In theory, yes but if you’ve forgotten Tucker isn’t in armor; this falls he could be killed or injured easily.”

Carolina turned to Tucker. “Care for a piggy back ride?” Church just looked at her. “Are you serious?” Tucker gave her a look too. “Yeah, what he said.” Carolina shrugged. “He’s not that much extra weight I can’t handle, as long as we keep a fast and steady speed through this mess we should be fine.”

Tucker shook his head. “Church, what’s your opinion? As a computer, is this possible without fucking killing me?” Church sighed. “Yes but we need to reach at least 50mph within five seconds to even start to manage it.” “And what happens if we don’t reach that?” “Then either both of you or just you will go flying like a cannon ball when you reach a rock you can’t get past.” Tucker sighed heavily. “I guess we don’t have a better plan.”

Carolina took her helmet off, handing it to Tucker. “Here, you’ll need it more than me.” Tucker just gave her a blank look. “Real words of comfort there.”

Once they got past (Barely, church almost short circuited) the mess of ice and brick Carolina helped Tucker off her back and took her helmet back. “Church, can you do scans, of anything. Heat, pelican, car, anything Locus might be using.” “Already on it.”

It took a few more moment than Carolina and Tucker would like but Church pinged. “Got it. I added a visual tracker in your HUD.” Carolina nodded. “Thanks Church. Ok Tucker, lets go.”

The followed the tracker to a Pelican, Locus already in there, Church also putting the spots of thermal where the others are being held but there were guards at the doors. Tucker cursed. “Shit. How do we get past them without alerting Locus?” Carolina huffed. “I don’t know. Church, any ideas?”

“I think so. Ok without me for a few minutes?” Carolina nodded to him. “Do what you have to do. Just get them out of here.” “Alright, here goes.”

He transferred to the closest soldier, the other noticing the weird sound the other made, turning to him. “Hey, you ok?” Church got control, turning to him. “Uh Yeah. Just a cough. Hey I think I heard some weird noises over there, we should check it out.” “I don’t know, Locus said not to move from post.” “And if it’s the reds and blues we should let them in?” The soldier huffed. “Fine. You made your point, let’s go look.” The two walked away and Carolina and Tucker saw their chance.

When Carolina was close enough and the other soldiers far enough away Church went back to Carolina. Carolina smiled in her helmet. “That was easy.” Tucker gave a nod. “Let’s keep going. We’re close.”

The followed the tracker to a storage room, going inside carefully before they heard someone yell, someone lightish-red. “Get out! Haven’t you done enough you monster?!” Tucker burst inside, seeing Sarge tied with duct tape and gagged, looking roughed up but overall alert.

Donut managed to get out of his bonds, the duct tape broken and stuck on his wrists but his ankles still bound, and he was near Wash, protecting him best he could in his condition. Tucker rushed over. “Fuck, Donut, it’s us!” He finally got a good look at Wash who was bound the same as Sarge but now that Tucker could get a decent look he could see the extent of the damage.

Tucker brought a gentle hand to Washs face who whimpered away, unable to know who is there. Tucker spoke softly. “Hey, it’s ok Wash. It’s me, it’s Tucker. And Carolina.” Wash only whimpered again, trying to speak but having a hard time. Tucker gently shushed him. “Don’t speak, your injured. We’re gonna help you.”

Carolina took a few calming breaths. “Tucker, can you handle them from here? I have someone to go take care of.” “Yeah. Go kill that fucker. I got this.” Carolina didn’t need to be told twice as she turned sharply out the door.

Tucker used what first aid he could on Wash but for swelling and bruising this extensive he didn’t have much. He checked and found a broken arm, splinting it up. Donut let a small cry escape him. “I don’t know why but Locus focused on him the most. We tried to stop him.” Tucker frowned, wrapping Washs arm up. “I know why. They wanted to use me. They knew him being hurt would get under my skin. I’m sorry you guys got involved in this. It’s my fault.”

Donut frowned. “Don’t say that Tucker. You couldn’t have known.” “No but I let Felix use me. Locus partner. I trusted him and he manipulated me and played me. It got Palomo killed, almost got you guys killed.” Donut frowned, reaching out and gently touching Tucker’s arm. “That doesn’t make it your fault. He’s the only one at fault here.” Tucker stayed quiet and kept wrapping Washs injuries.


	9. Chapter 9

  
Tucker managed to take care of everyone’s injuries, trying to prioritize Wash since he was injured the most. He gave each a bottle of water, having to aid Wash to drink his with his swollen lip and bruises everywhere. It made Tucker feel nauseous with guilt and anger.

While he was getting his rocks off with Felix, while he was being used, Wash was being beaten within an inch of his life, because of him. If they weren’t as close as they were Wash would have never been targeted.

It was hours before they landed back at base, with Locus dead and new people for the base who were imprisoned by Locus and Felix. Dr. Emily grey and Donald Doyle.

When they landed Dr. Grey offered her services and honesty, base didn’t have a legitimate doctor on staff, just a lot of people that know too much first aid. And with Wash, they needed an actual doctor.

The was nearly ten hours ago and Wash was placed in his own room in medbay and Tucker hasn’t left. Wash had a breathing tube down his throat and several IVs and god it was hard to look at him without feeling like his heart was being clenched in a vice grip.

Carolina came by, no armor and carrying a small tray of food. “Here, you need to eat.” Tucker didn’t even look at at her, just stared at Wash and his bruises, still asleep from surgery. “I’m not hungry.” He said quietly.

Carolina shoved him to face her, placing the food in his lap. “I will stay here and watch you eat it. You haven’t eaten anything all day.” “So?” Carolina sighed, understanding where he’s coming from. “Wash isn’t the only one recovering from this. Don’t forget you have an injury yourself.” “From failing him.”

Carolina glared softly a him. “From trying to protect him. Tucker, this is a war. And injuries and death are going to happen. You did what you could to protect him. He’s alive and safe now, he’s healing now, shouldn’t that be what matters?”

Tucker shook his head. “But he’s here because of me. Because I trusted the wrong person. I should have known it was too easy to beat him, I should have known a lot of things. But while I was getting my rocks off Wash and the others were being hurt.”

“Felix used all of us Tucker, I’m sorry you got the worst of it. We all trusted him. But he’s not gonna hurt us anymore. Right now all we can do is heal. Eat something, Wash wouldn’t want you to make yourself sick because of him.” Tucker looked at the food, it was mostly little things like grapes, toast, milk and a water bottle with a snack cake. “I’ll try. How are the others?”

“Fairing a lot better than him.” Carolina gave a sad smile. “I have to say, for barely knowing him they wanted to defend Wash like family. He seems to have the affect on people.” Tucker smiled sadly. “Sarge wanted to rip Locus a new one. Donut too.” Carolina smiled. “I think we’ll all be just fine.”

Tucker stayed quiet and picked at the bowl of grapes on the tray. Carolina walked over to Washs other side of the bed, gently holding his hand, being mindful of the wires. “Hey. Wake up soon ok? I’m not sure what Tucker would do without you.”

Tucker huffed, becoming flustered and she smiled before continuing to talk to Wash. “If you want to know, he hasn’t left your side since you’ve been in the hospital. I’ll see you later.” She said, starting to leave the room, gently closing the door.

Tucker just went back to staring at Wash but starting eating the grapes. Then he started feeling tired, as of everything from the day crashed onto him. He put the bowl down and laid his head on Washs bed, falling asleep quickly with the freelancers hand in his.

He must have fallen asleep for a good few hours before he felt movement on the bed and garbled gasps. He sat up quick enough to make his head spin, seeing Wash looking terrified and touching at the tube down his throat. Tucker stood up, pressing the button to alert Dr. Grey. “Hey, it’s ok, just calm down, you’re safe.” He saw tears well up in Washs eyes (the one that wasn’t swollen shut) and before he could comfort Dr. Grey was rushing in the door. “Step aside!”

Although her energy was a chaotic mess, her medical skill was far from it as she took his tub out gently, smiling softly as if he were a child that was getting a shot. “There we go! All gone! Tucker can you be a dear and get him a bottle of water from the cabinet.”

Tucker moves quickly, hearing Wash sputter and cough his way back to breathing. He came back and Dr. Grey helped him drink the water to soothe his throat. Once Wash was done he looked at Tucker, fear clear in his eyes. “Why am I Here? What’s going on?” Tucker frowned, he should have expected this from how beaten he was. “It’s a bit hard to explain.”

Dr. Grey smiled. “Not too hard. You, Sarge and Donut were kidnapped as prisoners of war. Tucker and Carolina saved you guys.” Tucker shrugged. “Ok. Guess it wasn’t that hard.” “I can give you two some privacy if you like.” Tucker nodded. “Please.”

She gave a nod. “You know what button to press to find me.” She left and suddenly Tucker felt awkward. Wash spoke up, startling him. “Is everyone ok? Did we lose anyone?” Tucker almost rolled his eyes, of course wash would he concerned with everyone else even when he was close to death. “No. We didn’t lose anyone.” Wash just nodded but winced.

Tucker frowned, standing next to the bed. “What hurts? Need anything?” “Everything hurts. My skin feels too tight and it stings.” “You we’re almost beaten to death.” Wash let out a breath, the pain passing. “That explains that.” Tucker swallowed. “Do you remember anything that happened while you were held?”

Wash looked away, staring at the blankets. “Not really. It’s in bits and pieces. God, my head hurts.” “You probably have a pretty bad concussion.” Wash just whined, trying to become more comfortable on the hospital bed. Tucker frowned, he had no idea what to do now that Wash was safe and alive and in front of him. “Need anything?”

Wash swallowed, he really wanted to be held right now. He really wanted to feel safe but Tucker isn’t that type, he looked away from him. “Maybe just some Advil.”


	10. Chapter 10

It took a month for Washs swelling to go down. Dr. Grey had him on heavy anti inflammatory drugs, making him a bit loopy at times.

He pouted at Carolina from his hospital bed. “Where’s Tucker?” She smiled sadly from the chair next to the bed. “He’s been busy.” She lied. Truth was Tucker stopped seeing him after he woke up, his guilt becoming too much, unable to look at Wash and his injuries without feeling nauseating guilt.

Wash whined. “But I miss his cute face.” Carolina chuckled. “I know you do. I promise, when’s he’s not busy he’ll visit.” Wash smiled goofily. “Good. Maybe I should give him a kiss too, he has very kissable lips.” Carolina laughed, wishing she could record this to show Tucker what he’s missing.

Carolina stood up. “Let me get you some ice, you’re face is still puffy.” Wash smiled, puffing his cheeks like a child trying to look like a puffer fish. Carolina chuckled, ice pack in hand as she sat on the bed. “Ok, this is gonna be cold.” She gently brought it to the side of his face, mostly by his eyes.

He winced. She frowned. “Sorry, still hurts?” “Yeah.” “That will go away, in time.” “Like Tucker went away?” She frowned, seeing the hurt look on his face. “He’ll be back. He’s just busy. I promise.”

When Wash fell asleep Carolina left to find Tucker. They needed to have a talk. Since they saved them Tucker’s been in a depression and Carolina understands and is trying to be patient with him, being emotionally manipulated is one of the worst things Felix could have done, it’ll stick with him probably for his entire life. But Wash needs him.

Tucker hasn’t left his room in weeks, a few times to get food but that was it and even though it was mandatory to report in every morning, kimball gave Tucker and the rest involved in the Felix incident a pass for now while they heal.

Carolina got to his door, knocking on it. There was no answer. She knocked again, louder and no answer. “Tucker either you open the door or I kick it down.” She heard movement and the door opened and felt herself soften at the sight. Tucker looked like the depressed mess he is.

His eyes bloodshot, he looks like he lost weight. He spoke quietly. “What?” “It’s about Wash.” Tucker was instantly worried. “Is he ok?” Carolina gently pushed him in the room and closed the door. “Yes. He’s fine. A little loopy from the medication he’s on but fine. He keeps asking about you.” Tucker slumped and sat on his bed. “So? Just tell him I’m busy.” “I have, for the past two weeks and he really misses you.”

Tucker swallowed, staring at the ground. “I can’t see him.” “Tucker-“ He stood, glaring at her. “No. I can’t see him. Every time I see him I see what Felix did, how he used me, how he manipulated me into thinking we were more, that I could trust him. And while I was having the best sex of my life, Wash was being hurt and beaten.” His eyes filled up, he shook his head, wiping them roughly away. “I..I can’t see him. He deserves better. Someone that won’t get him hurt.”

Carolina stared him down. “Tucker, I’ve let you have your pity party for the month,I understand you feel guilty but you have to understand that he used me too, and Kimball and everyone here. We all trusted him. And wash needs you, he won’t stop asking about you. Please, come see him. I hate lying to him.”

Tucker let out a breath. “Fine. I’ll see him.” Carolina nodded. “Good, then clean yourself up, you’re a fucking mess.” Tucker huffed. “Yeah, I know.”

Carolina escorted Tucker there to make sure he wouldn’t run away. He walked inside and Wash was awake and smiling when he saw Tucker, face and eye stiles bruised to hell but the swelling has gone down significantly. “Tucker! You’re not busy anymore?” Tucker looked at Carolina and she gently nudged him closer.

Tucker smiled weakly, seeing the bruises making his guilt bubble and stomach turn, making him wonder if that happened during or after he fucked Felix. “No. I’m not busy right now.” Wash smiled, reaching out his hand to him. “Good. I missed your face.” Tucker smiled a little softer, taking his hand carefully, avoiding the IV. “I missed your face too. How you been feeling?”

Carolina watched for a few minutes while Wash talked and talked and talked Tucker’s ear off before she carefully left the room, leaving them some privacy.

Eventually Wash started falling asleep and Tucker went to let go of his hand, to leave and to stay “busy” another two weeks when Wash woke, stopping him with a whine. “Where are you going? You’re always leaving me.” Tucker felt that comment hit his chest like a bullet, making him have to steady his breathing. “I promise, I’ll be back but you need your rest.” “Sleep with me? I don’t like being alone.”

Tucker saw the opportunity to make a dirty joke but Washs big blue eyes and hand holding his stopped him. “I’ll stay.” “And protect me like a big strong knight?” Tucker chuckled weakly. “I do have a sword.” “You do have a sword!” Wash said with a big smile. Tucker smiled a little softer. “Get some sleep, I’ll be here.” Wash nodded, still holding his hand as he fell asleep.

When Carolina came back, seeing Tucker had been there a few hours, she saw him asleep at Washs bedside and holding his hand. She smiled, closing the door quietly before leaving. 


	11. Chapter 11

  
It was a few weeks later when Wash was able to be discharged out of the hospital. During the remaining weeks Tucker didn’t come by. Didn’t even see him out out of the hospital.

He tried to pretend it didn’t hurt but it hurt a lot. He asked Carolina about it and she sighed. “It’s not my place to say but you need to talk with him. He’s been…depressed.” “Depressed? Tucker? He’s the most laid back person in this army.” “I know but, just talk to him.” “Yeah. I think I will.”

Wash went to Tucker’s room, knocking on the door. There was no answer. He knocked again. “Tucker? It’s me. I just want to talk.” The door was suddenly sprung open.

Tucker hasn’t seen wash for two weeks. Not since Carolina forced him to. The swelling in Washs face is gone but the bruises remained, making Tucker’s stomach turn with guilt. “Hey. I didn’t know you got out today.”

“Well you would if you chose to visit me.” Tucker felt himself blush with shame, looking away. “Yeah. Sorry about that. I’ve just been busy.” “You’ve been very busy. For the past two months.”

Tucker swallowed, Washs knew he was lying. Wash frowned. “Look, can I come in? Can we talk? I’ve really missed you.” Tucker couldn’t say no to him, he looked like a kicked puppy, literally with the bruises littering his face and arms.

He opened the door more and let him inside. Wash turned to him when the door closed. “Carolina told me you’ve been depressed since my rescue.” Tucker just sat on his bed, shrugged. “And?” “You and depressed don’t go together. I’ve never seen you any form of depressed. I’m just worried. Please, what’s really going on?”

Tucker just shrugged. “Nothing it’s…it’s just been a lot.” Wash frowned, accepting the answer for now. “Yeah. Did I say anything weird on the Medication Dr. Grey gave me?”

Tucker gave a weak smile. “Oh yeah. Lots. It’s was fucking adorable.” Wash smiled, sitting on the bed with him. “Glad it was of entertainment value.”

Since Wash got out and returned to regular duties, Tucker had been avoiding him. In mess hall, when Wash would walk in, Tucker would walk out and vice versa. If Tucker walked in and saw Wash he’d walk out.

It was infuriating. And hurtful. He didn’t know why Tucker was avoiding him and it hurt.

And Carolina was no help, he knew she was pissed at Tucker but kept telling him that “he has to tell you, it’s not my place” and he’s so angry about everything he could cry.

When Tucker avoided him, at his own lessons, Wash had enough. He waited for Tucker in his room, making a mental note to lecture him on keeping his bunk locked when the door opened and Tucker jumped when he saw him. “What the fuck dude?!”

Wash glared, standing and crossing his arms. “I wouldn’t be here if you would stop avoiding me. Also you should lock your door.” Tucker sighed, taking his helmet off. “Look, I want to sleep, can we talk tomorrow?” “No, we can’t. Because you’re just going to keep avoiding me.” He said sharply.

Tucker felt his chest constrict, he never wanted Wash to know what Felix did to him. Never wanted him to know him almost dying was his fault. Wash pressed on, getting closer to him. “Did I do something wrong? Did I say something?” “No.” “Then What is it? I…I miss you. And it hurts you keep avoiding me.”

Tucker looked away, not wanting to see his blue eyes. “Look, it’s not you, it’s just me, I’m going through some personal shit and I don’t want to involve you.” “Well it’s been a good two weeks of you avoiding me and Carolina won’t tell me anything. She keeps telling me you have to tell me. What the hell happened while I was held captive?”

“A fucking lot! Ok?!” Wash frowned, eyes wide as Tucker snapped. Tucker groaned, he hated snapping at Wash, none of this was his fault. “You’re gonna hate me.” Wash frowned, he was getting worried. “What happened Tucker?” He asked.

Tucker swallowed, running his gloved hands through his dreads. “I fucking slept with Felix ok?” Wash raised an eyebrow. “You slept with Felix? That’s it?” “No. He fucking used me.” Tucker felt his eyes water. “He used me to make us weaker, make the army weaker. It started after you were taken. I was drinking and I didn’t say no. It continued, made me think we had a chance at saving you guys, gave me false confidence, let me go try to rescue you even though he knew I’d fail. I’m…”

He wiped his eyes quickly, turning away from Wash. “I’m the reason he targeted you. Why Locus targeted you. He knew it would rile me up. He knew I fucking cared about you and used that against me. I’m the reason you were beaten half to death.” It was quiet, Tucker blinked away tears, waiting for Wash to walk out the door.

  
But it never came. Wash spoke softly. “Tucker, none of that was your fault. That was all Felix. He came in here with a plan.” Tucker turned sharply to him, eyes watery. “Not my fault? I’m the reason you got beaten half to death! Every time I see your bruises I wonder if that was going on while I was having the best sex I’ve ever had. I hate it.” Wash hugged him awkwardly with the armor. “None of that was your fault. And I don’t blame you for any of it. Felix used you. That’s on him.”

Tucker felt his lip tremble, letting Wash hug him but not returning it. “I thought you were dead.” “It was just another of Felix’s lies. I’m not going anywhere.” Tucker whimpered, feeling pathetic. “I don’t deserve this.” “I’m not letting you let this guilt eat you. I’m not leaving.”

Tucker isn’t sure if he’s cried this hard.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for suicide attempt

  
Wash felt like Tucker was improving. He understands why he’s gone into a depression; having the death of just one person on you is hard on anyone. And it’s like pulling teeth to convince Tucker otherwise.

He always tried to involve him or force him out of his room to go shooting, to a movie night, anything honestly. Anything to keep him out of his head.

But at night, when Tucker was alone, it was a struggle. The guilt would eat at him, telling him things.

He would lay awake in bed, thoughts clouding his mind, telling him everything is his fault, Palomos death was his fault.

He then would turn over and stare at his gun for most of the night, debating in his head if everyone was better off without him.

It’s become habit for him.  
Let Wash force him out of his room to do whatever he fuck is going on and pretend to be ok.

Tucker just kept seeing a missing spot where Palomo should be. God he was an asshole to that kid. Was he even eighteen?

“Tucker? Tucker, are you even paying attention to the movie?” Tucker blinked away tears, thankfully not enough to be noticed, he gave a nod. “Uh Yeah, Yeah, I’m watching.”

Wash frowned, his bruises are nearly gone by this point but Tucker’s eyes still hyper focused on them. “Im actually really tired.” Wash gave a little smile. “Heading to bed?” Tucker gave a nod. “Yeah. Sorry, it’s just been a long day.”

Grif gave a huff, leaning against Simmons for the movie and taking over most of the couch. “Dude I hear that.” Simmons rolled his eyes. “Like you even did anything.” “I’ll have you know doing nothing is a big job.”

Tucker almost laughed at them, typical Grif and Simmons when he remembered Palomo is missing from this, everyone was here, even Carolina. His heart lurched in his chest and he just gave a wave and left.

Wash frowned. He was hoping to ask him on an actual date, tell him his feelings because he’s 99% certain Tucker feels the same.

He tried to continue watching the movie but he had a nagging feeling to check on Tucker. He stood and Carolina called him out. “Checking on him?” Wash blushed. “Yeah, I’m just worried.” “You know you worry too much.” “Yeah. I’ll be back.”

Tucker swallowed the lump in his throat as he held the gun in his hand, staring at it as he stood in the middle of his bunk.

Palomo is gone because of him.  
Because of him a kid is gone, fuck, he wasn’t even eighteen.  
And if not for him Wash wouldn’t have been beaten half to death or even kidnapped.

His hands were shaking. Was he really going to do this? He brought it to his chin, whimpering. Wash would be better off without him. He wouldn’t be targeted because he fucking cares about him.

“Tucker, what the fuck?!” Is all he heard before his gun was torn out of his shaking hand, making his mind reel and stare at the Nothing in his hand. Until Wash suddenly held his face, forcing him to look at his blue eyes with fading bruises.

Tucker’s eyes watered over as Wash held his face. “Tucker, what the hell was that?” Tucker swallowed, his voice rough. “I…I got Palomo killed. I almost got you killed.” Wash let out a breath, his thumbs wiping away Tucker’s tears. “None of that is on you. I don’t know what to make you believe that.”

Tucker’s lip trembled as he tried to turn out of Washs hold but Wash held him still. “No. I won’t let you avoid this. None of what Felix did was on you. He used you, manipulated you into trusting him. That’s not on you. None of it is. What were you going to accomplish by shooting yourself?”

“You’d be better off, wouldn’t be a target.” Wash shook his head, eyes watery. “God, you’re a fucking idiot. You really don’t fucking see it do you?” “Of course I fucking do.” Tucker got out of his hold, pacing and wiping tears away. “I fucking see it and I hate it.”

Wash stayed silent, were his suspicions wrong? Does Tucker really not return his feelings. But Tucker continued ranting. “I hate it because you deserve so much better. Someone that won’t get you killed. Won’t be used by a fucking psychopath.”

Wash swallowed, walking closer, holding Tucker’s face. “You have no idea how much I care about you.” “I love you so fucking much.” Tucker blurted out, voice breaking. Washs eyes widened. Tucker continued, his hands shaking.

“When I thought you were dead, I…I thought I died. If not for Felix I probably would have done something very stupid. You think I feel guilty now about all this shit with you and Palomo…it was nothing compared to when I thought I got you killed.”

Wash swallowed the newly formed lump in his throat before moving closer, kissing Tucker gently. Tucker whined into it, holding him close, hands tangling in blonde spikes.

Tucker turned the kiss deeper, more dirty and full of passion, needing Wash like a dying man needs water. Wash pulled away, staring into Tucker’s eyes. “Not gonna leave me now?” Tucker frowned softly, leaning his forehead against his. “No.”

Wash smiled weakly, voice shaky. “Good. Because I’m not sure what I would have done if you were gone. How about we lay down. We could both use it.” Tucker nodded, feeling exhausted in so many ways, letting wash lead as they undressed to their boxers and crammed into the twin sized bed, wash holding Tucker close, protective as they drifted off into sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

  
Wash woke up alone and memories came back of last night, making him sit up suddenly, seeing the empty space and becoming terrified. He didn’t see Tucker’s gun anywhere as he stood up, ready to search the entire base when the door opened, Tucker standing there in his pajamas and a tray of food. “Whoa, Hey. Morning.” Wash glared. “Where were you? You weren’t here and your gun is missing.”

Tucker walked inside the room, placing the tray down on the dresser before looking at Wash. “I put it away. Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. I know you don’t sleep well. But I was up first and put the gun away and got us some food. Thought maybe it could be a lazy day after yesterday.”

Wash didn’t say anything before hugging Tucker tightly. “I thought…” Tucker hugged him back. “I’m sorry, I’m not leaving.”

Hours later Wash came out of Tucker’s room when he ran into Carolina in the mess hall, returning the tray. She frowned. “You didn’t show back up last night, was everything ok?”

Wash shook his head. “No. It was a good thing I went to check. He was about to kill himself when I checked on him. Gun pointed to his head. I don’t want to think what would have happened had I not checked on him.” “Jesus..” she said in shock. “I know Tucker’s been depressed but I didn’t think it was that bad.” “Me neither but he’s getting better. We’re just having a lazy day after what happened last night, he deserves it.” “So do you.”

Wash stayed quiet and she sighed. “I’ll let you get back to him, if you need any help don’t hesitate to call me.” “I’ll keep it in mind.”

He walked back to the room and saw Tucker was half asleep on his bed. He smiled, wishing times could always be this peaceful.

Tucker started back to his job duties the next day, to Washs protest. “Tucker, I’m just not sure about this. You’ve gone through a lot these past months.” “Your point?” He said as he was getting his armor on.

Wash was already in his, holding his helmet. “My point is that what if your mental health interferes with your work? You’ve barely let yourself process or grieve properly.” Tucker sighed as he stood from getting his boots on. “I’ll be fine. This is how I process things, just going out there and resuming normal duty.” “Doesn’t sound healthy.”

Tucker just shrugged as he got his helmet on. “Coming from the man that gets less than three hours of sleep a night.” Wash blushed. “It’s a work in progress. Fine, there’s no talking you out of this.”

They went onto their separate duties, Wash trying not to worry about Tucker and his questionable mental health.

Tucker almost forgot why he was so far off, why he was so upset. Getting back into a normal routine felt like it did wonders.

One of the young lieutenants missed a target, cursing and Tucker sighed. “Damnit Palomo, how bad is your aim?” He noticed it got very quiet as he looked, seeing the three. Then he realized what he said, panic starting to seize him up.

Jensen was the first to speak. “He’s not here sir. Are you ok?” Tucker was breathing too fast, too heavy, he barely got the words out. “I’m fine.” Before running off, leaving the lieutenants alone.

They all looked at each other. Katie speaking first. “Think he’s ok?” Matthews was next. “Obviously not. Felix fucked him up.” “We should get Agent Washington, he could help him.” She said before going to find him.

As soon as Wash was notified he went looking for him, thinking of the only place he may find him, taking his helmet off in the process.

He went to open Tucker’s bunk door but it was locked. Wash nearly groaned, of all the times he actually listened to him. “Tucker, I heard what happened.”

It was quiet and it terrified Wash. Did go through with it? What if he’s dead in there? “Tucker, please say something, you’re scaring me.”

It was quiet and Wash was ready to break the door down when he suddenly opened and his heart broke.

Tucker sucked in a shaking breath. “You were right. I…I wasn’t ready. Fuck..” He turned away, his breathing fast, his pacing frantic. Wash stepped inside, closing the door. “I’m not here to tell you I told you so. It’s perfectly normal to not be past this.”

Tucker turned sharply. “And to call out Palomo like he isn’t fucking dead because of me?! Fuck, I feel like I’m losing my mind.” Wash moved closer, taking Tucker’s hands in his, making him stop his pacing.

“You’re not losing your mind, you just haven’t let yourself process anything. It’s ok to grieve him and you haven’t. You can’t move on if you don’t allow yourself to.”

Tucker felt himself calming down, his voice thick. “What do I do?” “Go to therapy. Talk to the doctor about everything, they’ll help you learn coping mechanisms and learn how to process this in a healthy way. Trust me, I’ve had to go to a few, it’s not so bad.” Tucker just nodded, staying quiet, feeling emotionally exhausted again. “What now?”

Wash lead him to the bed, helping take the rest of Tucker’s armor off. “You are going to be off for a while. No work duty until the doctor clears you. So during that time I order you to relax and get rest.” Tucker gave a huff. “Pulling rank on me?” “I mean I could pull on other things.” He said with a coy smile.

Tucker smiled weakly. “Bow chicka bow wow..” he said a bit quietly. Wash smiled, kissing him gently. “I love you, I’m not going anywhere.” 


	14. Chapter 14

  
Five months later

Tucker frowned as Wash shook his shoulder. He just woke up and wants a few more minutes of sweet slumber. “Tucker, wake up, you’re going to be late for your appointment.” “Just five more minutes babe.” Wash rolled his eyes and forcefully pulled Tucker up by his arm. “Get up, now.”

Tucker groaned, sitting up now. Wash sighed. “Don’t be a baby, your appointment is in a half hour. Go have a coffee and meet Dr. Grey in her office.”

Tucker got dressed, nodding to Wash as he left out the door before Wash shouted to him, jogging to him. “Don’t forget your medication!” He said as he handed Tucker the bottle. Tucker yawned, nodding. “Got it mom.” Wash gave him a playfully slap on the arm. “Shut up, just find me when your appointment is done, I have a surprise for you.”

Tucker nodded kissed him goodbye as he went to the mess hall, getting a cup of coffee and taking his meds without food, knowing Wash would be lecturing him about it if he saw.

About a month into his therapy Dr. Grey realized Tucker may need more than just talk therapy to help cope with what Felix did to him and what those actions cost, so she put him on an antidepressant and it’s helped a lot, even lowered the dosage two months into it because she believes he doesn’t need it his entire life, just for a little bit to get over this particular hurdle of guilt.

Dr. Grey, bubbly as ever, even at 8AM, greeted Tucker inside her office. “Good morning Tucker!” He gave a nod and smile, waving with the hand that held the coffee. “Hey.”

After his one hour session he left to find Wash, feeling more awake now that the coffee has kicked in. He found Wash in basic training with the lieutenants. Wash saw him. “Everyone take five.”

The all relaxed. Taking their helmets off and going off to get some water as Wash took his helmet off and went to Tucker with a smile. “So?” Tucker smiled. “I’m cleared for duty training the lieutenants again. I have to say, I kinda missed them.” “They are amusing.” “You said you had a surprise?”

Wash smiled. “Yes but it’ll have to wait until after work, think you can manage until then?” Tucker scoffed. “No problem babe.” “Great, go see Kimball and let her know you’ve been cleared, I’ll see you tonight.”

Tucker went to Kimball and then to his bunk to do…whatever. He doesn’t have work until tomorrow. He sighed, already board and went to find Grif. Even lazy as he is he always had something to do that was fun.

And he was right as he found him in his bunk, knocking on the door. “Yo, Grif I’m bored.” The door opened and Grif sighed. “So? How’s that my problem?” “Well you always have something fun to do.” “True, I was just starting Crash Team racing. Think you can beat me.” Tucker grinned, bursting his way through the door. “Dude! That was my shit! Give me a controller!”

Wash showered before finding Tucker, feeling gross from sweating and training with the troops. He went looking for him and didn’t find him in the living area.

He looked in his bunk too and didn’t find him. He frowned. Where the hell could Tucker be? He walked down the hall of bunks and heard muffled cursing. “Oh fuck You and your blue orb!” He heard Tucker shout from Grifs bunk.

Wash smiled as he knocked on the door. The game pausing and the door opening quickly, Grif there. “Yo.” Tucker was behind him with a smile. “Oh, hey babe.” Wash smiled. “Hey, ready for your surprise?” Tucker nodded, walking out the door. “Definitely, I’ll see ya later Grif. Good game.” Grif nodded and closed the door.

Tucker hugged Wash from behind with a smirk. “So what’s this surprise?” Wash smiled a little softer, going out of his hold and holding his hand. “Com’on.”

He lead him outside to the small grave site of Palomo. Tucker frowned, seeing it. Wash felt him tense up. Wash let out a breath, bringing his hand back to himself. “Dr. Grey thinks it would be a good idea now that you’re cleared for duty to say a proper good bye, apologize, whatever you want to say to him that you couldn’t before.”

Tucker swallowed, staring at the gravestone. “I…I don’t know if I can do this.” Wash gave him a supportive smile. “Go ahead. Say whatever you need to.”

Tucker felt himself shaking as he stared at the gravestone. Makeshift with barely any details other than name and birthday and death date.

“Uhh..I don’t really know how to do this. Guess I should start with I’m sorry.” He said, fidgeting his shaking hands. “I know now not everything is my fault, it was Felix. I know now there was no way to know what he was planning. I still feel like I should have known but it’s getting better. I’m sorry I got you killed..” He said, voice catching, wiping tears away. “Ok…I didn’t get you killed, Felix got you killed, but it’s so hard to think that. You were apart if my unit and I let you down. You were so fucking young.”

He said, voice thick. “You were an annoying idiot half the time but that doesn’t mean I wanted this. You didn’t deserve this. You’re a kid. You should have been able to be a kid.” He said, voice shaking as he turned away to face Wash. “I’m done..” Wash came to him, holding his hands. “How are you feeling?”

Tucker let out a breath, a little more steady. “I don’t know. I feel a little better I got to apologize but fuck I still feel guilty. It’s not what it was months ago but it’s still there.” Wash held his hands a little tighter. “You’ve come so far, don’t let feeling this way discourage you.” Tucker smiled tearfully as he leaned in and kissed Wash softly. Wash smiled into it, wrapping his arms around him. “Let’s go home?” Tucker nodded, pulling away and holding his hand. “Yeah.”

 


End file.
